insights from Why Mars and Venus Collide

this book is really very informative and enlightening especially in understanding the differences between martians and venetians and in proving that there is no reason for them to collide.we often disregard the fact that both sexes are hardwired and biologically made up differently.we can only fully understand each other by accepting,embracing and even laughing at our differences.instead of trying what we cannot change, we need to focus on what is possible to change in our partners by bringing out the best in them.we are living in an era where stress is heightened.expectations increase as women take on greater responsibilities at home and at work and tensions arise in our relationship with the opposite sex.therefore,it is necessary that we understand our needs and that of our partner's in order to bring out the best in him and to make our relationship so much easier.when stress is gone, our differences are never a problem.thus, we are building a healthy and lasting relationship.

 men vs women

 

women mistakenly expect men to react and behave the way women do,while men continue to misunderstand what women really need.

men love to solve problems, but when their efforts are misdirected and go unappreciated, they lose interest over time.

why we are stressed

being equals doesn't mean men and women are the same or should be the same.to give equal respect, we must recognize that we are different and support those differences.respect in honoring who a person is and being open to appreciate what he or she has to offer.

unrealistic expectations make changing gender roles nearly impossible.as men cling to old expectations,women are creating new expectations that are equally unrealistic.

under stress, women feel the pressure of a never-ending to-do list.until the list is finished,it is very hard for women to rest,relax or do something simply because she enjoys it.

women are the custodians of love,family and relationship.when women stop being women and are too stressed to carry out theses functions,we are all lost.women remind men of what is important in life.women hold the wisdom of the heart and inspire men to act from their hearts.men can have a great vision,but women provide the meaningful foundation.when women are not happy, no one is happy.

when women become men,men lose purpose,meaning and inspiration in life.

realistic expectations lead to real love

a man loses interest when he senses that he can't continue to meet a woman's expectations.

lucky is the woman who is able to appreciate what a man can offer, for she continues to get more and more.

lucky is a man who is able to meet his own needs and then respond to a woman's need for help around the house,good communication and regular romance for he comes home to a happy wife.

adjusting,updating and correcting our expectations can free us from feeling victimized or powerless to get what we need.

men and women don't complain about their partners when they are feeling good.problems and demands emerge when we are under stress.most often, the problem is never just our partner but our inability to cope with stress.

if a man was to yield to the pressure of a woman's unrealistic expectation,he could become a domestic partner,but within a few years all the romance and passion would be gone.when a man becomes more like a woman in a relationship,he will inevitably become overwhelmed,exhausted and stressed.

role reversal can easily put a damper on romantic feelings.instead of becoming more sensitive,men need to become more sensitive to the needs of women.

a woman's sensitivity,which gives her the ability to enjoy and appreciate the little things in life is a major turn -on  to men.

a woman can learn ways to lower her partner's stress by helping him feel successful in helping her.what is most important to men is to feel he is providing his partner with some measure of fulfillment.by giving less and simply appreciating what he does for her, a woman can actually be more supportive of her partner.the idea of 'helping him help her' involves asking him for support instead of just expecting him to give it.

a woman's response to his actions,by being grateful for what she is getting in her relationship,is much more important than anything she can ever directly do for him.

simple principle can produce immediate results in any relationship.finding authentic ways to give a man the message that his efforts are appreciated does not involve the old-fashioned notion of sacrificing her needs to avoid demanding anything from him.instead,it requires a greater responsibility to fulfill her own needs to learn how to ask a man for support in small increments that are realistic.

why women need men 

men want to feel needed and are most attracted to a woman who appreciates what they have to offer.

you can only appreciate what you have when you authentically feel the need for it.

you can be independent about some things and depend on your partner for other things.

women need to rediscover the power and strength of their femininity.women don't have to be like men to be powerful and get what they want and need.likewise,men don't have to become like women to be loving and supportive in their relationships.

needing a partner is not a weakness.men need to feel needed and women need to feel they are not alone.

forgiving our partners for their mistakes and accepting their limitations can be just as fulfilling as appreciating their many gifts and successes.

love is not a fantasy of perfection in which every need is met,but sharing a life together,striving to meet each other's needs as best as we can