flashbacks

i was staring at my fancy wall decorated with hearts, postcards and cute nothings, then i was directed to this photo of me taken three years ago.apparently this photo was taken with my ex-boyfriend.fate was surely playing on me.since my laptop was within my grasp, i typed in his name on facebook search.lo and behold, his page popped up--displayed on his profile picture was a photo of him and his girlfriend?wife?in a sudden whim, sadness struck me.it's not that i'm still bitter over what happened.i have accepted my fate long time ago.if only my long-term memory could let go of  whatever stored flashbacks of him.he has surely moved on with his life and seems to be happy.but here i am, still miserable.well, i try not to and just embrace whatever life offers me but during solitary moments when i am emotionally fragile, a pang of regret would strike me.what if i accepted him back?what if i agreed to runaway with him?what if i fought for my love?what if i threw my dreams away and just stayed with him?would things get better?would i be here in this foreign country trying to chase my dreams?..which unfortunately not the case.would i still be miserable?i have loved somebody with all my heart but sadly i did not have a strong heart to fight for that love.i failed and i'm afraid that i'll just keep on failing every time.he was probably right when he said that i didn't really know what i wanted to do with my life.i always say that i  just want to love and be loved in return.however, that idea seems so vague and so unreal.as i glanced at this photo, i realized,that everything i had been through in the past was meant to happen.God is good because he gave me the chance to love and be loved.love is the best thing that can ever happen to you.when everything makes more sense.though it was not the ending i was hoping for, i continue to find peace in knowing that i was capable of loving somebody.i remain optimistic that somehow,i will find my rightful place in somebody else's heart.